Part I – The Jury
Black stars hung upon the crystal dome. The time had
come… after all.
“Thock! Thock! Thock!” The judge knocked the table.
“Silence in the court! The jury is about to begin” He said.
Members of the third galaxy lowered their voices.
The accused: Creature of the human race who responds
to the name “Henry Chambers”.
A tall man walked as he could towards the table at the
right, he seemed tired and filled with anger. His eyes were red as if he hadn’t
slept for days and his hands were mark by the ruthless passing of time.
He sat.
“General Krünis Thambor!” The judge shouted.
A figure emerged from the dark far end of the room. It
was twice as tall as Chambers and had a thick blue skin that reflected light as
if his veins were made of pure glass. His eyes were too filled with anger.
“Judge” Krünis said.
“Establish your
case, general, the floor is yours.”
“Humans are a race of ungrateful weaklings, they shouldn’t
be among us!” Krünis shouted.
“Objection” Chambers replied.
“Conceded” The Judge said.
“General Thambor, such allegations won’t be accepted
in a court of the third galaxy, all races are to be taken as equals before the
law that lives under the black stars hanging above us.”
“My apologies both to you and the members of the jury”
“Establish.”
“Humans have not accepted the opportunity we gave them
fifteen cycles ago. After the war ended we offered them a way out” Krünis said
while pointing at Mr. Chambers.
“They lost that planet and were given a chance to join
the third galaxy as equals but all they can manage to do is to destroy themselves
by trying to regain control of earth.
They should be punished and be made an example
of for self destruction is one of the most atrocious crimes out there.”
Members of the third galaxy started to whisper at the
back of the room.
Henry Chambers didn’t even seem to be paying attention
to the general’s argument.
Is he even listening? – General Krünis yelled
Chambers moved his head slowly towards Krünis and
looked straight into the creature´s eyes.
Henry Chambers was not afraid of the general.
Order! Order in the court of the third galaxy! – The judge
shouted.
The whispering stopped.
Now the accused has the floor. Human, proceed to stand
up and establish your case.
Henry Chambers stood up as he could. His legs were
dripping blood from the last encounter he had with the third galaxy’s troops.
He then leaned against the table to find some kind of support so he wouldn’t fall
in front of the jury members.
Mr. Chambers – The Judge intervened.
I will use this very moment to suggest, if you allow
me, for you to get a proper lawyer who can actually make a decent defense in
your name; you are not prepared to…
Thuck! – Chambers stroke the table with his shackled
hands.
I don’t – He said.
What? – The Judge asked.
I don’t allow you anything.
The jury
members started to yell and scream their discontent with that human’s
arrogance.
“Order, order in the court!”
“As you wish, human.” The judge replied.
“I am guilty” Chambers said.
“Have you lost your mind, human? You know what you’re
saying?”
“I do, actually. I am guilty of everything that
monster over there said. I want my planet back, we humans do not seek for your pettiness
nor your hospitality… our planet is out there and we will get it back.”
“If that is your wish, human… then, so be it!”
“This Jury
finds human who responds to the name Henry W. Chambers guilty of systematic race
negligence and selfdestructive manners that endanger the minds of the
races around the third galaxy!”
“Let the black stars that hung above of be witness of
the punishment which he will have to face for his actions!”
“Thuck, thuck, thuck!” The judge knocked the table.
Henry Chambers passed out.
Part II – The Punishment.
Black stars hung upon the crystal dome. The time had
come… after all.
Have you ever broken one of your bones?
Have you felt how a part of you cracks leaving a mark
that will never go away, how it sails across the paths of your brains to stay
forever as a memory of hatred and sorrow?
Henry Chambers opened his eyes.
A bright light covered everything.
Henry Chamber’s body was naked on top of a frozen flat
silver bed. He didn’t dare to move one muscle.
He was terrified.
The sound of electricity running all over the place
remembered him of the rain he once had the chance to feel against his face, one
week before the war started. Humans were not prepared for such a disaster, they
never are.
Henry tried to move as little as possible; he didn’t know
if that bed was a trap or if his bones were already broken.
He didn’t know where he was.
He didn’t know what the punishment was going to be.
He didn’t even know who he was anymore.
A sound travelled from a great distance, he could hear
it, and it was the sound of slow steps approaching.
He then closed his eyes to pretend he was still
asleep. Maybe that could gain him more time before… well, before the worst.
A door opened.
He couldn’t see anything more than the intense red
that his eye lids perceived.
The sound of steps merged with the sound of silk
rubbing itself against the floor. Some kind of robe, he thought.
“I know you are awake, human.” An elegant voice said.
Henry Chambers opened his eyes.
It was a creature like nothing he had seen before.
It skin was transparent as clear water and its heart
was made of stars. It didn’t have eyes nor nose but one mouth that spoke truth
only.
“What are you?”
“I just am.”
“Are you here to kill me?”
“No.”
“Your heart…”
“My heart is made of the black stars that hung above
your head and live within your memory, human.”
“I am the bearer of the truth, the punisher of souls, and
the architect of perception.”
The creature
took a metal briefcase and put it on a table next to the silver bed.
“This is your onus and you must be aware of it.”
It then grabbed what seemed to be a cylinder filled
with a fluorescent thick green liquid and a diamond needle emerged from it.
“Your fee, your punishment resides within this substance.”
“What does it do?”
“It will freeze your body for five thousand cycles
leaving it to be a useless piece of matter locked in a storage room.”
“But your mind, your mind will stay active, condemned to
repeat itself over and over again in a memory of what you have perceived as a
moment of truth.”
“We will see each other again human, after all these
souls have perished, at the end of the line… to see if that experience changes
your ways.”
“What if it doesn’t?”
“Then I will
know for a fact that the human race is doomed to an eternity of self
destruction.”
“Take a long deep breath, this is going to hurt.”
The needle went right into Henry Chamber’s breastbone
drilling with an atrocious force.
Destroying little by little every conception and miss
conception of what pain meant to him.
Plunging down to the core of his existence…
Injecting the substance that would test the most
important of all human attributes:
Reason.
Hey, me gusta bastante la segunda parte, pero le he conseguido un par de detalles a considerar, pero casi ninguno relacionado con la historia en sí:
ReplyDeleteCiertas cosas son algo repetitivos, como cuando el narrador dice que Chambers no está prestando atención e inmediatamente uno de los personajes lo reitera preguntando lo mismo.
Hay un par de errores de tipeo, que si "boy" en vez de "body" y "preared" en vez de "prepared".
Esto último es una suerte de recomendación, pero creo que tiene que ver con la preferencia; al momento de poner los diálogos, sería interesante usar comillas en vez de guiones, ya que facilitan la lectura. Lo digo porque muchos de las historias/cuentos cortos que he leído en inglés lo tienen y hacen que se vea bien, porque a veces se confunde un poco lo que es diálogo y lo que es narración.
Gracias por tu lectura y por las recomendaciones y, sí, tienes toda la razón, Abby. De hecho estoy trabajando ya mismo para incluir el formato de diálogo entre comillas a ver qué tal.
ReplyDeleteDe verdad muchas gracias por tomarte el tiempo de hacer estas observaciones. Y, por supuesto, gracias por leer el cuento.